The Mute Button (24 Weeks)

24 Weeks Baby!

I was talking to a very nice gentleman on the phone at work Friday about to sign his family up for a fun event we have planned for next Friday when I felt a sneeze building up. I asked if I could put him on hold for a moment.

As I pressed the Mute button, Waaaah-CHOO! It have have been my loudest sneeze in my life.

"God Bless You," came the voice on the other end of the phone.

Without hesitation, I exclaimed, "Crap! The Mute Button!" The man burst out laughing. My face was bright red, and I apologized about five times and told him how embarrassed I was. He said it was nice of me to offer to mute the phone, as he probably wouldn't have done that. I laughed my uncomfortable laugh and he continued laughing as I completed his registration.

Meanwhile my manager and co worker were cracking up.

Its the little things in life, right?

"This is How I Roll" tee gift from my mom from 2Chix.com (Please ignore strange face and frizzed up hair)

In other news, Hubster and I are dragged the pooch to Atlanta this past weekend. We ditched the dog at our friend's house as we made our way out Saturday morning. There is a chili cookoff that I packed a Costco sized tub of Tums for. Thanks to this little lady for sharing the great idea of a great chili festival with us! People watching was out of control! (I actually have to go back to ATL to retrieve our camera before I can post photos as I didn't take any with my phone.)

Holy Sheets!

There was no pulling me out of bed this morning. Hurried Hubby pressed the snooze button twice before he eventually jumped in the shower. I stayed put. He dried off and tried to smooch me awake. I stayed put. He informed me of the time. That clock is a liar, I proclaimed. I stayed put. He let the pup into the room who tappa-tappa-tappaed on my undercover feet. Hubby smooched me again when his hair was done. "But these sheets are so soft", I yelled as I splayed out covering as much of the king size bad as possible.

Holy Sunlight!

 These sheets are made for luxuriating, my friends. Do I know what the thread count is? Nope. Don't care as long as they keep on doing what they are doing. Calvin Klein something-something threadcount soft gray king size sheets from Marshalls, I bow down to you and your unbelieveably low price of $30.

Manzanitas repurposed from my wishing tree at our wedding

Cloud like pillows that cradle my head in a dream, to you  say, don't ever leave me. These gigantic wonder puffs cost us $11 each at Ross. I shredded the receipt so I could never take them back. Hallelujah! I could stay in bed all day.

Bedding set is from Macy's - gift from our wedding

...Until 7:25am on a weekday, anyway. which gives me 25 minutes to dress, put my dang face on, feed the pooch, and feed myself (hair stays the way the bed commanded it). Just thinking of the gloriousness of my comfort king makes my eyes a little sleepier and my head a little fuzzier.

Well That Was Awkward

I have been putting off the inevitable trip to the DMV since I moved to Greenville. But today was the day... and procrastination-karma is a swift little devil.

Walking into the county clerk's office, to get my car registered in SC, I felt a scratching on my leg. Weird. I shrugged it off as my skin has been pretty dry these days. Another couple steps and *plop* a pair of black panties flew out of my right pantleg!! A woman walked by just as I was crouched down shoving them into my purse. Someone needs some static cling remover immediately.

From rogue and unregistered to official SC citizen

The entire two hours I was at the DMV all I could think about was the little something-something in my purse:

Was it wrapped around my wallet destined to fly into the face of the cashier who will deny me a plate and take a horrendous forever photo for my ID card? 

Had it already fallen to the floor for the old man with the oxygen tank to have a heart attack over? 

Was it somehow hidden inside my passport the lady was about to open up and then charge me with lewd behavior and harassment in front of the four teen moms and sixteen babies crawling on the dirty linoleum?

What my purse looked like when I flopped it on the table at home... peek-a-panty

I made it out alive and my Monique's Little Black Unmentionable remained tucked into my purse pocket until I got home and put them in my dresser where they belong. And my license photo is certainly not the worst I've taken, too.

Bump Bump

This past Saturday was the first day my Happy Husband felt his Baby Boy's kicking. My heart grew four times it's normal size and then melted into a puddle of love.

He has our hearts in his teeny tiny hands already.

Amazon Mom - Life and Money Saver

As I sit here pondering the changes forthcoming in my life I imagine all the hoots I will have. I envision how funny it will be the first time Hubs has to change a 3am diaper, the cackling hysteria the first time Baby H surprises him with his own private water show, the toots, the giggles, the blow outs. Then I envision the inevitable day that we have run out of diapers at that special 3am changing. Dish towel? Paper towels? Knapkins? The receiving blanket? Just lay him in the bath tub and hose him down?

Shopping this past weekend in hat Megaopolis known as Costco, we must have looked rather obvioulsly overwhelmed by all the diaper options. We probably sat in that back corner of the warehouse giant discussing the liklihood that H will stay in newborn or size ones for some time and how many jumbo packs to purchase of each. Two moms stopped by and took pity on us, easing our furrowed brows.

{We purchsed two giant New Baby Starter Boxes from Huggies It has Newborns, Size Ones and a box of wipes. Done and I am starting to feel prepared for H's debut.}

The mom to five kids shed some light on a great deal though. She said she subscribes to Amazon Mom. They offer deep discounts on diapers and send you a month's supply  each...well... month... so those sleep deprived panics are averted.

It is free to sign up and Moms, Dads, Uncles, Aunts, Grandparent, whoever are all eligible. You get 30% off selected diapers and wipes, 15% off many other items in the Baby store,  free 2-day delivery with Amazon Prime, free returns, and emails and updates galore. We use Amazon a lot in our household. In fact, we used Amazon for a Baby Registry (plus  Buy Buy Baby for those who prefer in-store shopping). I take joy in having to only leave my house for food and fun rather than shopping chores. Sign me up... when Baby H is born; I'm not losing a single day of the three-month free 2-day shipping!

Bikini Zucchini Bread

Yes, I still have the giant zucchini from Illinois in my refrigerator. Yes, I have every intention of creating many a delicious concoction until the monster veg has been defeated and devoured. I found the holy grail of zucchini bread recipes on AllRecipes.com and slimmed it down a bit because lawd knows, I will want to eat this entire loaf. You can find the original recipe here. I halved the recipe, because, again, I would hide in the pantry eating a whole loaf myself, knowing I had to share the second one.

My biggest suggestion is to sub out all the artery clogging oil in favor of applesauce. You use the exact same amount of applesauce as you would oil, so it saves the math headache for another baking day. I also use Pam for Baking instead of grease and flour. Saves the calories and the time. I mean, who wants to wait when you have a cinnamonlicious bread rising in the oven?

I may make this again this week to spread the love to Hardworking Hubby's coworkers, and to my little Museum staff, too.

A Good Place

I'll be honest, folks. I struggled with the changes my body has experienced during pregnancy. Let me tell you there have definitely been ch-ch-ch-changes. All the while I think of how incredible it is that I am doing something miraculous (Look Ma, no hands!). I am creating life here! But in the back of my mind creeps that familiar old voice of pessimistic, self-doubt and ugliness. As a woman who has dieted on and off for the past however many years, it is no picnic seeing myself balloon (keeping this new incredible skin on the invite list, but that faint line on my belly and giant freakin' tatas are off the picnic RSVP list).

...Until you feel the little guy inside throwing 'bows and kickin' the nonsense out of you. Perspective comes back and a sense of  contentment and tender joy washes over; a calming wave brought on by the ninja inside. At 22 weeks gestation, Little H has already began to make me a better and more confident lady. Bless this baby! Just three months and 2 weeks until I can hold you, and not my tummy, in my arms.

A to Z

Had a pretty blah  day so I figured I'd give you all even more information that-is-totally-all-me-all-the-time-me-because-you-can't-get-enough-of-lil-ol'-me. If you do a list, link it in the comments section, so I can get to know you better!!

Remy - Super Dog!

A. Age: 28

B. Bed size: King (I bow down to Overstock.com and their low price/$2 shipping)
C. Chore that you hate: Folding Laundry

D. Dogs: Remy, age two. My mutt is my fur-st born son
E. Essential start to your day: Having the hubby press the snooze button (sometimes twice), followed by hair, makeup and a bowl of Cheerios
F. Favorite color: Today it is turquoise
G. Gold or Silver: White Gold, heh heh heh
H. Height: 5’4"

I. Instruments you play: the wood block, and not even very well
J. Job title: Cental Sales Specialist
K. Kids: Baby H to make his debut in January
L. Live: Greenville, SC
M. Mother’s name: Brenda
N. Nicknames: Mo, MoFo, husband parrots the nicknames I give him back on to me
O. Overnight hospital stays: None, Im pretty fortunate
P. Pet peeves: Mouth noises (OhMyGah! Can you chew silently and not slurp puh-leeze!) and being late (I can't stand having to make people wait on me. Drives me bananas, but not nearly as psychotic as mouth noises).
Q. Quote from a movie: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." - French Soldier in Monty Python and The Holy Grail 
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: two younger rothers and a younger sister
U. Underwear: I am all for them
V. Vegetable you hate: Raw tomatoes. I know, I know. They're fruit. And they're gross.
W. What makes you run late: My husband
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Spine (my last five vertabrae are outta line), foot (I broke it while acting the fool in college), teeth (stupid wisdom teeth removal)
Y. Yummy food that you make: I craft up a pretty good Korma and Mussels Mariniere
Z. Zoo animal: Polar Bears

A Dream I Dream

Some people dream big, shooting for the stars, profound life-altering dreams. My current dream (aside from not looking awkward when I preggo dance around my living room in front of my husband while singing the wrong words off key to Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger") is to get myself all dolled up primped-curled-and-pearled, Stepford Wife perfect and then rock out in the pit of a hip hop concert.

Glenn Close in the 2004 remake; via

Can you imagine the fun for everyone to see me jamming at a Lupe Fiasco or Pitbull show in my Sunday best?

Heck yes that would be a good night!

Lasagna Deliziosa

Much like Garfield the cat, my Hungry Hubby could eat lasagna every night (and afternoon, and most likely morning, too if given the option). Every once in a while I bust out this layered-love for his wide-eyed dining pleasure. This time, I added a secret layer of shredded zucchini. My mother-in-law brought a zucchini the length of my arm and the width of my calf (seriously, this is not really an exaggeration).

How to make this yummtastic meal of tastiness:

• Shred about a cup of zucchini and drain (put zukes in a paper towel-lined strained, dust with salt, let sit at least 30 minutes, squeeze out extra moisture). 
• While boiling a pot of lightly salted water, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Add in lasagna noodles. Boil 8-9 minutes. 
• Brown ground beef/turkey/or soy crumbles with 1/2 a Tbsp of garlic powder, a dash of salt, several cranks from a pepper mill. Once you do an initial drain of fat from the beef (once you see it change from pink to brown), add in a couple pinches of dried sage, a couple spinkles of fennel seeds, and a healthy dash or two of dried basil. Cook an additional five minutes. Drain off any remaining fat from the meat. It's okay if some of your herbs escaped with the grease. The flavors infused just enough as you prepare yourself for the oven.
• Coat the bottom of your pan (I use a bread loaf pan since I am only cooking for two + leftovers) with prepared spaghetti sauce. Layer in noodles, followed by beef, dallops of part skim ricotta cheese, zucchini. Repeat starting with sauce until you've achieved the height you predetermined for your masterpiece. Finish off with a mozzarella top. 
• Bake this bad boy for 30 minutes. Wait a few minutes before cutting into. I know, it's painful to wait, but you don't want it sliding around on your plate. Serve with a light salad and garlic bread (or in our case heels toasted, buttered then sprinkled with garlic powder).

Devour!
Bon Appetit!

New Favorite City?

Oh Chicago, you have a contender in my heart for favorite city. You may forever be my favorite Midwest locale, but Charleston, darling, has certainly taken a jab at that top spot. Good thing I don't have to decide, there is no Chicago mobster or Charleston pirate holding a gun or sword to my head, now is there.

I will be the first to admit that I went into this past weekend with a gnarly attitude. Having lived through hurricanes, I battled Headstrong Hubby like a prize fighter into cancelling our plans and staying in Greenville. He would only respond with "We're Going." Yes that same confidence and assuredness that normally gets my motor revved really got me fired up. I may have said a few unsavory words in several arguments. We're blaming the crazy hormones for my wackadoo raging. I am also stubborn, but I also can back up my feelings with a you-know-what-you-were-right list as long as South Carolina Coast. I wave the white flag in defeat, and a happy one at that.

We shopped in Charleston's City Market. It is an open air, but roofed, market in the heart of downtown. Local vendors sell their wares to tourists for a pinch too much money in some cases and others for real bargains. Not being a big spender, Shawn and I took off on our own to enjoy the air conditioning and a big ol' bucket o' shrimp at Bubba Gump's. Yes, it is a chain, but it was also right next to our parking spot. We cooled off and then headed back into the heat walking toward Rainbow Row. It is a Omigosh beautiful stretch of houses in varying pastel shades that immediately made me think precursor to Miami's Art Deco storefronts South Beach.

Walking along the beach front, I dipped my aching feet in a fountain and tried to catch butterflies. We played with miniature crabs scurrying on the pier next to a shrimperman (he wasn't fishing as much as he was shrimping). We sat on a trolley for 12 minutes while the driver talked animatedly on her cell phone before we walked the way back to the car. I sweated my face off, I dripped holy-lover-of-all-things-tasty Charleston Mud Ice Cream all over myself and I laughed myself silly.

It was a wonderous first day of our two-day trek to his new favorite haunt.

Le Crabe de Charleston was less crabby than moi!