Everyday Epiphanies

What's new this week?

1. Try as I might, I will never like V8 juice. I need to eat more veggies. The he-tus has tastebuds already, ya know, and I don't want to start out as a poor model of behavior. Good thing he can't see the awful squinchy face I make whenever I try to down one of these supposed-god-for-you cans of eeeeeewwww. "Shoulda had a V8" tag line from commercial also plays on repeat in my brain as I choke it down. Blech!
2. Something that is good... Ginger Ale. Always been a favorite beverage of mine. And I prefer it straight, thank you. Discovered this weekend that Ginger Ale is an "old person drink." Serrrrrrisllly? Watched a clip of "King of Queens" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" crossover episode, and Doris Roberts (the grandmother) thinks people should always have it for when they have company. Leah Remini's character said it is for old people. This comes as a suprise to me, but apparently to anyone who knows me and then helpfully reminds me of my nickname "Grandma Momo." Hhmmph.
3. Also... the MAN will always find you. You cannot hide. I have been receiving AARP pamphlets, end of life planning informational mailers, coersive letters from life insuarnce companies telling me that I am leaving my family without a safety net, and Neptune Society newsletters (Cremation Society letters) for years! We are talking since I turned 21 people! I am only 27!!! I moved to South Carolina hoping that these people who want me to kick the bucket (or at least plan for my ultimate demise) would lose me. Nope, I recieved my first life-planning reminder yesterday. I want to live!
4. Broken sandal at work can lead to broken dreams. For a child celebrating a birthday this weekend since my broken shoe led to a trip in the middle of Publix Supermarket which led to 2 lilac cupcake trays flyng through the air crashing to the ground. Pride, you have been humbled. Publix bakery lady, thank you for not laughing or sneering as you re-made twnety four lilac cupcakes with spinkles. The five-year-old and her mother (and this party coordinator) appreciate you!
5. My dreams often have soundtracks. Today that soundtrack would not fade. Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax" played over and over as I did everything. Walking from my car to the office, climbing stairs to the admin offices of the museum, preparing steamed mussels for Shawn, my Mother in Law, Karen and her sister, Cherie, I even sang a little bit to my dog as he was doing his doggie thing outside in the yard. And now you can have it in your head:

Everyday Epiphanies

Oh What a Week It Was! I spent the greater part of the week learning some things, some really big, some really small, and some that weigh a little less than seven ounces.

1. I learned that I should draft up this post throughout the week because I forget everything I wanted to write immediately following my opener.
2. I learned that trying to make new friends is a lot like dating. You have to scope out the room, sifting through the inhabitants, searching for someone you hope will be somewhat like-minded and open for conversation. There are uncomfortable moments before you sum up the courage to speak with the object of intended friendliness. Do I go over and interrupt conversation, or do I try to catch them alone outside the bathroom? You small talk about silly things "you like camping? I love camping but I secretly haven't gone in a year. You know, I love bread and beer. Do you like bread and beer?" when all you want is to cut to the chase "hey, are you taking applications for friends? I am as well and would like to sit with you over a coffee, interview-style. How's Thursday?" The worry if you do the unthinkable and ask for their number, will you get rejected, or an over enthusiastic, "yes, please take it and my email and my fax and my parent's house number in case I'm over there." It's a minefield for the timid. Good thing we're an outgoing couple.
3. My FURST born, Remy, is sad that my Mom and little brother, Scooby, were only in town for a couple days. He's kinda depressed without all the extra affection and attention when we're at work. Remy finally was able to play with another wild woman who gets on her hands and knees to wrassle his hairy hiney, like his Mommy.
4. I learnesd that my butt is competing with my bump to see which can stick out he farthest. It is a close call. The Happy little household over which I reign (hardly) will no longer be eating pasta three nights a week. 
5. We learned that we are having a.... baby! Hahahahahaha. Nah I'm leaving that for a special post all on its own. Complete with ultrasound photos. Tune in Monday for a special report. (I was a journalism major in college. It feels so right to say, "Special Report.")

Friday Epiphanies

Good Day to you my blog reading friends. Behold my momemts of hmmmmmm from the past week:

1. I may begin calling the fetus fantasticus "meatball" because after eating a fabulous Italian spaghetti and meatball dinner with holy-cow garlic bread, the preggo belly looks huge! Some days it just looks like said dinner was chowed down upon and other days, actually looks like a person is being created in there. Meatballs it is... at last for dinner.
2. If I am tired, I should just hoist myself up and take a walk with Happy Hubby. It wakes me right up and I treasure the time just spent talking with him, and being pulled all over the neighborhood by Remy.
3. Still on the fence about Remy being sprayed by Hubba Hubba Hubby with fabric febreze for pet odors and preferring the smell but being horrified that Hubs soaked the stinky pup with chemicals. The offending puppy musk has been destroyed and now he is transformed by the chemicals into a super powered hero dog with skills a la Spiderman... that would be the best possible scenario.
4. Super excited to plan our rip to Charleston when Mom-in-Law and Aunts in Law come to visit next week! Atlantic Ocean plus Southern gorgeousness? Yes, please!
5. Mini marathons of ghost stories and murderous women shows makes a delightful evening of television. Every night of the week. I know its weird, but I like it and Shawn watches with me. We used to go to haunted houses each fall and watch all the scary movies that come out in the theaters. Happiness is ominous tones as background music and a Vincent Price sounding voice over. Should a pint of Half Baked Haagen-Dasz make an appearance... that would be bliss.

The first week of August..

1. I miss red lipstick! I haven't worn it since I've become a southerner and didn't realize how much miss it until watching Captain America with the hubster. Enjoyed the movies, but spent much of the time envying the finger waves and those cherry red puckers. Busting out my trusty tube now!
2. My bump is really showing, as evidenced by yesterday's post. It just popped out of nowhere in the past couple days.
3. I have come down with some serious cabin fever. Need.To.Get.Out.Of.The.House.But.First.Need.Money.Tree!
4. Not having purchased a single thing for the bean is making me crazy. I am a planner who needs to feel prepared. So I bought a package of diapers on my way home, just in case the fetus needs one in several months.
5. Florida avocados are great for eating by themselves (they shoot me straight back to my Grandfather's avocado tree in his backyard.. a tasty childhood, indeed!), but are not great for making guacamole. Alas, shoulda bought a Hass. Even as a wee one, I could eat an entire giant the size of my face with simply salt and pepper.

 Here is a quick recipe of how I make my guac:

GUACAMONIQUE
1 Hass avocado, slightly squishy to the touch
1/4 red onion, chopped small
1/4 tomato, seeded and chopped
1 tsp. garlic powder (we use more garlic than most people I know :) )
2-3 twists of a black pepper mill
2 shakes of a salt shaker (sometimes, I leave it out

Slice open the avocado, lengthwise. To remove the pit, whack it with the sharp side of your chef's knife twisting a little to pull it out. Combine all ingredients. Mash with a potato masher to save minutes of frustration, but make sure to leave some chunks. Give a quick gentle stir with a spoon. Devour using tortilla chips, pita, bread, your hands, whatever you have available! This goes very quick in this happy lil home. Salud!

Friday Epiphanies

Another week has come and gone. These are some of my ah-ha! moments.

1. My eeeeew moment (actually more like an eeeeew 24 hours) I learned that I must wash my hairat least very other day. I tried to see if I could improve the condition of this unruly bale of hay atop my dome by washing it every three days. A gorgeous blogger I follow washes hers that often and hers is hair to be envied. On day three, I resembled Professor Snape in a downpour. Not a good look for me.
2. I can mow a dang lawn! I can survive mowing a quarter acre lawn in 100 degree heat with over 60% humidity! I wear the bruises on my palms (from pushing the mower up and down a hill) with pride.
3. I learned Money Can't Buy You Class... Elegance is Leeeaarned , my friends. It may not be a good song, but it can really stick in my head.
4.  The phrase, "I'm wide open," when in the south means you are crazy busy and your schedule is packed. It doesn't make much sense to me, when you aren't busy are you supposed to say, "I'm shut tight"?
5. I am a proponent of leashing a child. When five children (and waaay too many adults, actually) walked through the clearly marked emergency exits in one day, it cemented my feelings. That doesn't even cover the "lost mommy" searches we do, too. And come on, they make little child leashes that look like monkeys and puppies! 

Friday Epiphanies

New little segment  am going to try to do every Friday (to make sure I post each week, too). Hold me accountable, my people!

These are Five light bulb moments of the past week. The saying goes "you learn something new every day," while these ten things may not change my life, or even that particular day in any profound way, but they made me go "Ahhhh Ha!"

1. Husband has fears that our baby will be covered in hair and resemble Sloth from The Goonies ("Hey You Guuuuuuys!"). He had a nightmare and couldn't relax for about an hour after waking up. Then my neuroses kicked in... oh geez! Please don't tell me our baby will look like a rabid monkey! Panic!!!
2. Everything tastes better on a tortilla. Case in point- tortilla pizza (flour tortilla + Prego spaghetti sauce + shredded mozz + turkey pepperoni * cooked open-faced on a dry non-stick pan over medium heat for five minutes) is as lovely as it is easy.
3. Baby Dog has body odor when left outside for more than three minutes. Eau de Pooch goes away quickly but Whew! that is one stinky pup!
4. I may take Prenatal Vitamins for the rest of my life if my nails will stay this awesome. PS I should probably cut them since I am looking more and more like wolverine every day.
5.  I need to make friends soon. Sounds so sad. Cue the violins, maestro! Staying in every night isn't as fun as I'd like to make you all believe and I need some girlfriends to commiserate with. Shawn and I are both running out of conversation. Last night, after a long time with a word exchanged, I said, "Boy, was it hot today"... the dreaded I-have-nothing-to-say-but-I-can't-stand-this-awful-boring-silence-any-longer-please-dear-lord-help-me-I-have-no-words phrase. Need to meet people who haven't heard all my stories a thousand times! Ugh! Having my best friend all to myself is pretty dang nice in the mean time, though.

Well there it is. What revelations have you made this week?