The First Two Weeks

Henry James at two weeks old

The first two weeks of motherhood were rough. Whatever expectations I had were oh so very wrong.
I didn't think breastfeeding would be difficult, first off. I mean, I have gigantic hooters. I was made for this! Henry didn't have a good latch, he had a downright awful latch. He actually lost too much weight, losing a pound from birth to his fourth day outside the belly. I was ill prepared for the atomic bomb siren that is my son's cry.

The biggest unexpected side affect was just how much I love my husband. Truly, I had no idea just how much having a baby would instantly magnify one thousand time the capacity I have of loving him. I knew that I would be overwhelmed with love and caring for this little new life, but was caught completely unawares by the new affection for the one who helped create him. When I looked at Henry in those first moments and hours, I could only think of Shawn. It is not his fathering that has brought this entirely new level of wholehearted loving, it is simply becoming a mother that has done it.

Whatever hurdles we jumped those first weeks of parenthood, we were greeted by constant and unconditional tenderness by not only us, but by each other.

A Babe is Born

 I scooted out of triage with my IV drip and my butt firmly planted in a wheelchair at 4am. My contractions were making me double over and I was dilated three centimeters. The birthing room where I would deliver my baby was a place of serenity with its flat screen and wood floors. The husband was digging the comfy couch by the window. I was happily anticipating that nectar of the gods, King Epidural.

I met Dr. Price who ordered the anesthesiologist and a dose of Pitocin. "Are you ready to have a baby today?" Yes, sir, I was ready to have a baby.

At 10am Dr. Price returned to examine me. He took one look and said we would have a baby by the afternoon. Shawn's face beamed. His boy is coming! The the shizz got real. Dr. Price felt my gigantic belly. "Hmmm..." he hummed. Then he did an internal exam. "This baby has a soft head," he said... out loud.. to a panicking me. What?! WHAT?!?! "How long has he been breech?" What?! I had an appointment on Monday...this was Wednesday. I think I would feel if this giant baby flipped upside down. To be sure he pulled a portable ultrasound machine into the room. Four minutes later I was looking at my baby's head by my tailbone.

Emergency c-section. I have never had surgery before aside from getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I have never had my organs removed from my body and placed back all willy-nilly. I was terrified of the dreaded episiotomy. Dr. Price called Dr Chasedunn-Roarke who saw me on Monday and she was shocked, but told him that at least I wouldn't have the episiotomy like I was worried about. No, now I was going to be opened up on a table in a cold and sterile operating room rather than this hotel suite I was crying in. I was seven centimeters dilated and progressing fast. 14 minutes later I was being prepped for surgery, getting dosed with even more epidural and Shawn was putting on his scrubs.

At 10:33am on Wednesday, January 11, 2012, our baby boy came into the world with the loudest cry I have ever heard. Shawn looked into my eyes and we both teared up. The nurse showed Henry to us and asked Shawn if he would like to hold him. I wanted to jump up too and hug that screaming and wriggling body. Obviously, I couldn't feel anything below my shoulders, so Shawn held our sweet baby and brought him over to me to kiss and snuggle. By this time, Henry's baby blue were wide open as he took in the scene. By 10:50am I was sewn back together, intestines in their rightful place, and was being wheeled into the closet sized recovery room where we would spend the first three hours of our lives as a family of three.

How I Knew It was Labor

Somethings just cannot be explained, they must be lived to be remotely understood. Birth is certainly one of them. I have conquered one of my biggest fears... having a baby. This is how I did it:

On a cold and foggy night...

At exactly 12:59am on Wednesday, January 11, 2012 I woke up with a start. I sat bolt upright, "I think my water broke," I said out loud. Shawn teleported to my side of the bed (seriously, I am sure he broke the sound barrier with how fast he ran around our king-size) saying "What?! What?! Are you sure?! What do we do?!"

"I could have just peed myself," I cautioned. I have snizzed my pantalones on more than one occasion throughout the past 39 weeks. Not pretty, not fun, and (dreadfully) not unusual. "Gross! I did it again!"With another whoosh underway, I just looked up at Shawn's beaming face, then decided to mosey on over to the bathroom. A moment later there was yet another whoosh of water into le toilet. As I suspected I would, I started to voice my doubts. Phrases like "extremely incontinent," "never actually going to come," "only 8% of women's water breaks, I am the 92%" and "not ready not ready not ready" spilled forth from my mouth.

No smiling once the contractions begin

Then the contractions started. Oh my word, the contractions did a-start. "Crap. I think I really am in labor." was answered by Shawn with "I'm not even sorry. I'm so excited."

What to do when you have finally convinced yourself that you will be birthin' a baby:
1. Repack entire hospital bag
2. Make husband take a shower, despite his anxiety baby will be born in bathroom if he does
3. Put a maxi pad on since this faucet drip cannot be turned off once started
4. Unpack hospital bag after remembering need to brush hair and teeth
5. Squeeze into car and backseat drive as husband driver is blinded by pure adrenaline excitement and that deer on the side of the road looks like a jumper

Thank you, Husband Love, for allowing me to see what real pain looks like (also check out the drawer full of my contraction ticker-tape)

I also suggest once you are at hospital, remind your husband that he could have dropped you off at the doors rather than having you hoof it at 2am through a parking lot in the middle of January - do not voice frustration as you both trudge across parking lot in between contractions. Holy mother contractions! The lady that sees you pain and will not help you find triage is definitely the person who only cares if you have insurance, do not be mad at her when she tries to avoid eye contact and pretends not to see you, she knows not what she does. If she does, forget to date a paper so she can search all over the hospital for you until her shift ends at 7am.

Once I was firmly planted in triage and gussied up in my bum-exposing gown, the monitoring began. Contractions were one and a half to two minutes apart and freakin' awful. I would grit my teeth and clench the bed sheet and blankets so hard, my nails could have bored holes through the fabric.

How Henry came to be... to be continued..

Delivery Room Dilemma

He's the Sweet and Silent Type

I have recently become aware that my fur-st born baby-dog can come to the hospital. I immediately became elated at the idea of having all of my brown-eyed boys with me and Henry. I have since been begging Hubby to let me dress Remy up in an "I'm a Big Brother" tee shirt and glasses and have him in the delivery room. He can cheer me on and snuggle with his human brother and kiss my hand when I need encouragement.

Hubby is in a place of "no" right now. I am in a place of pushiness and perseverance.

We shall see who comes out on top of this one.  Potentially crazy pregnant woman v. Level headed engineer who would have to wrangle adorable pup...

New Kicks

For a fetus! The baby bean inside of me has been gifted a pair of converse all-stars from his/her Uncle Justin and Aunt Jen. Jen works for Converse in Manhattan. Whenever I see them, I smile and think of them. Considering that I have them sitting on my coffee table, I think about my brother and his sweet girlfriend a lot. Miss you!

Size: A for Adorable

Baby shoes are one of my favorite things. They are so small and squishy and lovey... and now Hubby wants a pair to match the "One Inside"

Mon Petit Chien

Le Jour Vingt-Sept
Pet

Remy

Mon Petit Chien

My Family, My Heart

Le JourVingt-Six
A Picture of My Family

I love my nutty family! Everyone of us is a totally different flavor of fun. This super-family has grown ten-fold since I married, too. Lookout! We're everywhere!

Scoobs, Kid Sister, Bubs, Grandma, Mamasita, Daddy-O, Moi, Mi Amour, Mama K, Daddy C, Grandpa, C, Jay and Cor

Challenged... again

Le Jour Cinq
My Siblings

It suffices to say that my parents raised a pack of maniacs! We are four equally rambunctious and intelligent people with four very different personalities and none of us can be pegged down as a certain way. Always surprising, always changing, always loving.

I am the oldest, then comes "Bubba", "Kid Sister" followed by "Scoobs." I am the shortest by six inches as seen in my wedding photos (and I am wearing five inch heels)! I am older than Bubba by about a year and a half, who is older than Kid Sister by a year and a half who is older than Scoobs by five years. They are sensitive and sweet, they will bend over backwards and give you the shirt off your back, they each love a fantastically good belly laugh and a bigger hug.

I am blessed to have such a tribe of interesting and brilliant people just a loooooong phone call away. I <3 My Family!

Listening to: "I Think I Like You" by Donora

Challenge continues...

Le Jour Quatre
My Parents

Brother, Mom, Dad, Me, Hubby, Brother Sister on our Wedding Day

I love my parents, they are two of my best friends. They are my constant companions during my hour commute back home from work nearly every day. Both have fantastic smiles, make me laugh, have brilliant minds, and the biggest hearts. I am truly, truly blessed to have such incredible mentors in my life. If I could grow to be one-tenth of the loving people they are, I will consider my life a success.

My gorgeous family live in New Jersey, so far, far away from Chandler, Arizona. It makes for a great vacation whenever Happy Husband and I can make it out there, so close to New York and Philadelphia, and incredibly picturesque. I wish I could be nearer to them, but at least we have unlimited minutes on our cellphone plans.

Listening to: "Chasing Pavements" by Adele