French Manicured Sausage Fingers

At 35 weeks pregnant, most, if not all, of my body is swollen. Lets just say my cankles are nightly fodder for the hubby and my vienna sausage toes uniquely compliment my jimmy dean link fingers.

I need a little prettifying!

... On a budget of $0. I DIYed a french manicure on my doublewide digits - freehand.

Materials:

Cotton ball- 3-4 cotton swabs - Nail polish remover - White nail polish - Sheer light pink polish - Top coat - Patience and a steady hand or a Playing Card and nail clipper

What to do:
Swipe remover over your nail beds to remove any yuck that may be lingering.
Paint the white portion of your nails with white polish. Don't even think about trying to make it pretty. Mine goes up almost halfway into my nail beds.Apply a second coat. Make sure your nails look ridiculous and laugh at 1st grade-approved beauty treatment as it dries.

please excuse my shaky photography and 400 lb. hand

Pour a smidge of remover into the remover cap. I estimate I pour about a teaspoon and a quarter in my little reservoir.
Dip your swab into the remover.
Now the tricky part: Allow the liquid to infiltrate your great white line, then rub the swab in a side to side motion recreating the rounded portion of your nail. You may have to re-polish a couple fingers, especially when working on the hand you write with. You may lose that 30 seconds and never get it back, but you'll feel good when you're done.

Not feeling dextrous because your fingers have swollen so much you can't fit a key ring around one let alone your wedding ring? Take a playing card, I suggest the instructions since no one will notice it is missing from the pack. Using a pair of nail clippers, snip a nice rounded edge off a corner. You now have a template to remove the field of wonky white from your soon to be prettified nail bed.

Once your new "whites" have nearly dried (wait maybe two minutes max) coat your entire nail with a single layer of sheer pink polish. Wait an additional five minutes before you apply a clear top coat for brilliant shine.

Prettied nails on puffy pregnant fingers - look at that thumb! Yikes!

Do not attempt dishes, laundry folding, dog washing, diaper changing or hair styling for as long as you can put them off. Raise your hands in the air and shrug when your husband asks for anything in the next thirty minutes... or more. You deserve a break, ask him to feed you grapes while you recline, waiting for the paint to dry on your marshmallow-puffed hands. Or grab a mug of cocoa with actual marshmallows - the big ones you are actually supposed to roast over a campfire - and watch last week's episode of Revenge.

Hot Cocoa may not reduce swelling but it makes mommy's happy.

Getting Ready for Baby - The List

35 Weeks at 9pm

Yikes! I am going to be a mother - not a babysitter, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a teacher, a real mommy with very real responsibilities. With a measly five weeks before my due date, I have decided to really buckle down and get a few necessities complete. I was born six weeks premature, and if Henry likes to be early like I do... it is best to be prepared.

1. Get a pediatrician. Easiest thing on the list. Called the dr. who told me that when we are at the hospital and are asked, "who is your pediatrician?" answer with their name. Done! Our baby doctors group does rounds at our hospital.
2. Install car seat. All you preggos out there driving coupes, my heart goes out to you. I was stuck in my teeny backseat wedged behind the drivers seat for ten minutes with no one to rescue me. The garage was closed and it was raining causing raging hormones to overheat and my overhead light turned off. So there I was - stuck in a sweaty frizzy car-cave. Helpful Hubby noticed I was gone for awhile and eventually laughed his hiney off saved me.
3. Get car seat installation inspected. I implicitly trust that paramedic certified in car seat installation inspected my hard work believes I am crazy, but did a good job.
4. Flu shot. Ugh, but it protects me and baby. Talked with OB who said not only will it protect me from another plague attack and the antibodies I make will be passed on to Super Baby.
5. Wash baby's clothes. We have about 300 pounds of very tiny clothes to wash - I really dislike doing laundry, but I hear I will be chained to the washer when baby comes. Might as well get used to it.
6. Register for Daycare. This is going to be so hard for me. I cried when I pulled into the parking lot, but pulled it together before I walked in the building. Put the check into daycare just five minutes away from work, so I can drop in constantly at lunch to steal feed him.
7. Pack hospital overnight bag. That will stay unused and then repacked 50 times before we actually do use it, or more likely forget it at home instead of bring to hospital.
8. Stock up the diaper bag. I truly have no idea if I really need three pacifiers, a swaddler, two burp rags, four newborn diapers, a pack of wipes, two onesies, a hat, a pair of mittens and a pair of socks that look like Adidas shoes... but I have them all crammed in there. I will do a diaper bag post soon and then perhaps a follow-up to prove how wrong I was after the baby is born.
9. Apply for Maternity Leave and discuss Insurance. Hubster is allowed for more paternity leave than me! But he is only taking two weeks to keep an eye on his projects, while lil mama will be taking all six. As soon as he is born, Henry James will be on Daddy's insurance. Check and check!
10.  Be patient! This is going to take a lot of work. I can pretend to be patient and perhaps trick myself in to waiting peacefully for Baby Henry to make his move. Also must learn to accept that I do not have control of when he comes. Aggggh!

Tis the Season for Wreaths

Its December (meaning I have six weeks before Henry dances onto the scene)! My three fall decorations are packed away and Christmas ones are now on display. The Tree is up and covered in glittering garland, bulbs and icicles and topped with an angel. 

The dining table is decked in a snowy runner and a tiny flocked tree with our yearly ornaments (yearly since 2007 at least, I wish I had 2003-2006) and somewhat melted red tapers.

The stockings are hung by the tv with care... and bells. Even Buddy the Turtle is feeling festive!

Our windows wear wreaths as does our door and lights adorn the garage and the bushes.

 

Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

Thanksgiving Baby Shower

I am truly, truly blessed! Not only did my family drive 13 hours (my sister and her boyfriend drove 16 hours from Providence, RI) form New Jersey and New York. One of my bestest and most favorite friends in the whole wide world, Heather, flew in from Arizona. All to throw me a baby shower in South Carolina over Thanksgiving weekend.

I spilled the waterworks when everyone left and didn't quite recover for a couple days after they had left. During the weekend, though, it was all smiles. The room looked spectacular! The theme was children's books. Heather and my sister know me so well! I want to grow a massive library for Baby Henry! Little Golden Books, yellow roses, book page garland and beautiful cookies, cake and cupcakes, covered the table. We played a couple games including Name that Baby Tune, which was won by Elise's boyfriend, Matthew and Guess the Baby Food (I was dying inside as I recalled Shawn's previous gag-inducing run in with baby food). The turkey and gravy was a particular favorite amongst us players. Blech!

Opening presents from my friends and family who couldn't be at the shower brought tears to my eyes. I miss them all so much and may have hugged a couple gifts as if they were with me in person. Pregnancy brain has made me over-sentimental and over-weepy. If any of you are reading this... Thank you! I love you all so much!

Pregnant with the Plague

via

I am 34 weeks pregnant. I also am coming out the other side of a particularly nasty cold. What the heck body?! You made it almost to the end of Henry's time baking in the oven. When other people have been falling all over themselves with various illnesses, you have maintained a level of immunity I have never before enjoyed! You led me to believe that Henry gives me super powers against germs. What gives?!?

Having a cold when I have a five pound person inside my belly, is an interesting experience. When I cough, he punches as if to say "quiet out there!" I am able to take plain Robitussin. This is no good as it makes me cough more. I sleep sitting up, which pains the old back, if I sleep at all. Since I can't take any meds, I wake poor Hubby up frequently. I wheeze, I sneeze and I hack. But at least I am feeling better now!

Breaking Dawn, but not Breaking Water

On November 21, I had my first non-Shawn outing. That is right, I ventured out into the world with someone who is not my husband. Praise the Lawd! I am making friends! My darling coworker, Wil, set me up with his sister to see Breaking Dawn. Kristi is due one week before me (she is having a baby girl) so we chatted during the previews all about our respective pregnancies, her omg adorable three-year-old, and being happy that we could see this flick with another chick - the husbands put the kibosh on them ever attending.

Shawn set me out the door as if it was my first day of school. "Have fun with your new friend, honey."

We waddled in and popped down for the show. Neither one of us ran to the bathroom during the whole thing. This far along in our baby-building sitting for more than two hours without a restroom stop is almost unheard of.

I have to say that this movie surprised me in how much I liked it. It completely surpassed my admittedly low expectations. Edward finally was dressed good, his hair was normal, and he actually was able to act like he cared about Bella. The wedding was really pretty and that dress was beautiful! (side note: Alfred Angelo made a knockoff). It was the transformation that her already little body made as she was impregnated with a demon monster baby with a funky name that did it for me. The makeup and CGI was fantastic. Anytime the wolves made it on screen I couldn't help but giggle. They are always so cheesy.

Looking forward to next year with the second installment comes (though my expectations are still not high for that inevitable wierdfest - the whole imprinting thing puts me off a lot). Looking even more forward to making more friends! Success!

Walking Egyptian in Milwaukee

On Monday the 7th of November Shawn's parents, his brother Jamie and we the expecting trekked to Milwaukee, WI for the afternoon. We ate at a Greek burger joint called Omega. I devoured my feta-less gyro while Shawn noshed on a Reuben and the others ate burgers. Its amazing that I can recall what we ate a month ago, but I forget what a refrigerator is called ("that machine we put milk in that keeps it from getting hot and stanky" was my most recent catchphrase-appropriate entry).

Milwaukee Public Museum

We drove around downtown searching for a parking spot that would actually fit an SUV only to park a few yards from where we initially entered the garage (isn't that always the case? no? well... moving on). Into the Milwaukee Public Museum we went. My Arizona Science Center membership has reciprocity with MPM so bang! We only had to pay the entry for one of us. Anddddd is got us discounted entry to the Cleopatra exhibit, too!

via

Cleo was fascinating! I wanted to take pictures of everything, but museum employees were everywhere. Blast! In reality I was seriously impressed with their knowledge of the exhibit. I am a museum nerd for sure and could have talked with one particularly informed staff member for hours. In a nutshell, this exhibit is brand spanking new. The artifacts were all discovered and recovered from the Bay of Alexandria in the last 15 years. The objects have taught researchers even more about Cleopatra's life, loves and her reign as they were preserved for centuries underwater. Fascinating and beautiful! I highly recommend anyone in the Milwaukee area to take a tour before the exhibit moves on to it's next destination.

via

The rest of the museum takes you on an anthropological tour of the world, primitive man, and turn of the 20th century Milwaukee (this being my particular favorite exhibit hall which allows you to peek into store fronts and homes of the the different nationalities who immigrated to Milwaukee). The first floor has a rain forest, dinosaurs and wooly mammoths, and a Butterfly Garden. I was hot flashin' all over the place in there with all that humidity and mist. Apparently the butterflies didn't mind that my forehead and lip were sweating and that my hair was plastered to my scalp. They came to me like forest creatures to a singing Snow White. I am the mariposa whisperer.

We dashed off to have dinner with Grandpa Charles in Menomonee Falls. I love this man as if he were my own blood relative. He cracks me up. Asking if we had decided Henry's middle name, we told him that we settled on James. Without missing a beat, he said, "I guess Charles didn't make the cut."  Love him!

The Family G

And that concludes my trip to the Midwest that I should have cleared with my doctor before embarking on :) tee hee!