Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Adventures in Food City

GIANT, HUMONGOUS, INCREDIBLE CONGRATULATIONS to two of my friends (K and N) who were each recently engaged! They are superb women and deserve the best of the best. D and T are the luckiest men in the world.

You all make me smile an ever present obnoxiously ear-to-ear grin. I love love!

With that said...

In my search for champagne to celebrate the blessed events, I ran into a local grocery in a neighborhood that can be at best time described as "sketchy." I bee-lined to the booze and was quickly followed a a diminutive man. He spoke to me in mumbled Spanish.

"I'm sorry, what did you say? Say it again slower," I smiled.
"What is your name?"
"[Your shoes are dangerous on this floor. You can fall]," he said*translated* gesturing to my stiletto boots.
"I like them!" I smiled, still perusing the limited bottle collection.
"Yes, yes! Sexy shoes!" he said in emphatic English.
I laughed, "Thank you." I motioned to leave the area, decided the discount bottle wasn't really worth the $2 cost. The man followed me, speaking more rapidly, as I took a few steps.
"Sexy Shoes! Camarones! Sexy Shoes Camarones!"
I laughed again, obviously confused. "It was nice to meet you."
I walked to the bread aisle, he followed. "Sexy Shoes! Camarones! Sexy Shoes Camarones!" he exclaimed. To the juice aisle, "Sexy Shoes! Camarones! Sexy Shoes Camarones!" To the produce, "Sexy Shoes! Camarones! Sexy Shoes Camarones!"
After this third aisle I booked it out the store, straight to my car, keys in hand. "Do you work at the bank, he asked"
"No, I'm going to a friend's house," clearly I stopped making sense because I was so confused. He waved goodbye from the store exit as I drove away. I called the hubster right away, cracking up. He forbid me from ever walking into another store of that name.

If you, or someone you know speaks Spanish, knows slang of any kind, can you ask them to explain why that man was yelling "Shrimp" at me. I promise I was not wearing and shellfish or seafood at the time.

Congratulations, my dearest friends. I will only be harassed for you and you alone!

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